CTRL Me by Anna Zabo
When I read the call for this anthology, I was particularly struck by one part of the bondage call. The last part read: “Or being told not to move…”
Boy did that get my imagination going. I started typing out a scene from the point of view of Tomas being verbally restrained by his lover Gabe. It had the feel of the end of a story, though, and I got about a thousand words into it, then decided that I really needed to go figure out how this particular story started before I figured out how it ended.
And so, I went back to the beginning of Tomas and Gabe, to their shared office, and started there. What I didn’t expect to happen was for that particular part of their story to end before I reached the scene I’d started based on that lovely little prompt in the open call. Then I typed the words that became the ending and thought, “Oh shit.” But there was the end of CTRL Me, and thus I left part of a scene on the cutting room floor because it no longer had a place in the story I ‘d just written.
So here it is, in all its unedited, rough draft glory!
I’ve thought about writing some more with these two, since things do remain interesting for them and there’s more to navigate in their relationship. So maybe someday, I’ll come back to this scene…and let poor Thomas come, too.
Sexually Explicit Excerpt (NSFW) Intended for readers over 18 years of age
“Don’t move.” Gabe’s hot breath caressed my ear before he took the lobe between his lips and sucked.
Heat exploded down my spine and I fought against the desire to turn toward him…or collapse at his feet. My arms, down to my fingertips tingled with the need to move. I didn’t. Well, I did—but Gabe didn’t seem to mind the shuddering and trembling, as long as I remained standing where he’d commanded, arms at my side, cock so damn hard, a feather touch would probably push me over the edge.
So of course Gabe’s next words were, “Don’t come.” He traced a finger down my spine and into my crack.
It took every ounce of willpower not to step forward, not to drop my head, not to push back when he teased the ring of my hole. I moaned through gritted teeth and he kissed my shoulder. “Beautiful,” he whispered against my skin before skimmed his fingers up my back. He kissed my neck before pulling those damned nails of his down my chest, teasing over nipples, then abs, then lower until he traced a fine line with one fingernail down the length of my cock.
I don’t know if it was a moan or a cry that forced itself out of my mouth. Sounded like both echoing in my ears. My face was wet with sweat and tears—every nerve sang with need and fire, and I was shaking hard, my legs like rubber, and gulping air like a drowning man. Torturous, exquisite pain, like a knife across skin. My balls ached more than they ever had—even when Gabe had bound them up tight.
“Please.” A croak, a desperate plea. Soon I would fall and fail him—disappoint him. I couldn’t—didn’t want to do that. Gabe was everything I’d ever wanted—everything I’d dreamed about in a master, a lover, a friend. Tears ran down my nose and I couldn’t keep the sob behind my lips.
“Shh. You can do this Thomas.” He lowered himself to his knees before me. “I know you can.” He stroked my thighs. “So strong. So obedient.” Then he took me into his mouth.
I’m not sure how I managed not to collapse, because everything went white and I nearly spilled myself down Gabe’s throat, despite his order. Splaying my finders by my side to keep from grabbing his head, I keened out a near silent cry—my throat too dry, my face too wet.
He took me to my root, hands clutching my ass, spreading my cheeks, then withdrew, then sucked me down again.
God, his mouth. His tight, hot lips. All I wanted to do was tangle my hands into his dark hair and spill my seed down his throat. It hurt so damn much, every stroke a blade of pleasure wrapped in pain, his will—his expectation, the rope that kept me from moving.
I moaned, shuddered, cried, and fought against every desire and instinct.
I don’t know how long Gabe blew me—could have been a few more strokes—could have been longer—all I know is that by the time he stopped, I was flying while standing still.
“I’m so proud of you, Tomas.”
Pride coursed through me—a different warmth—and pushed me even higher.
He stood, touched my wet cheek, then held out his hands. “Give me your wrists.”
How hard it was to move, even at his command, after fighting not to, but I placed my wrists, palms up, into his hands. He closed his fingers tight, a binding made of flesh and bone, and I shuddered hard.
“We’re going to walk to the bed.”
Each step I took forced a ragged breath from me as he led me the handful of paces required to reach the foot of his bed.
“Sit.” I did and he placed my hands onto my thighs. “Just like that.” He stepped back, delight etched in his smile and the sparkle of his pale eyes—tears? My heart thudded against my ribs. For me? The bed seemed to vanish for a moment, the world dipping and ducking before it solidified again.
I don’t think I moved, but I must have done something, because Gabe laughed. His smile played havoc with my ability to breathe correctly. “There’s something you should know,” he said.
“What?” Anything. I would do anything for this man.
The smile didn’t falter. He brought a finger to his lips—a command for me to be silent. Then Gabe stripped before me. First button down, exposing his lightly haired chest with its gorgeous climber’s muscles and taught nipples, then his strong and limber arms. Then his removed his pants and boxers. Strong legs and his magnificent erect cock. He stroked himself a few times, before moving forward, out of my field of vision—I knew better than to turn my head.
What I heard—the sound of a drawer opening and closing, then foil ripping—made me moan.
I held my breath to silence the sounds I couldn’t help making, then let the air in my lungs out slowly and silently. When the lube bottle snapped open, my balls tightened and I bit my tongue. My entire body ached with need for Gabe’s touch, for his cock to be inside me, for the sweet release only he could give me.
I was going to have to fight to not come the moment he entered me. He’d spent the night driving me up to the edge, and even dangled me beyond it. I was so aware of every sensation that even the softness of the bedspread beneath my ass sent tremors of desire though my limbs—all it would take to bring me to orgasm was one simple word.
Which he wouldn’t say. Not yet. I closed my eyes briefly. How far would he press my limits of self control? Hell, what were my limits?
I guess that’s what we were finding out. It was the hottest thing I’d ever done—be bound without leather, without robe, without anything at all.
Just Gabe’s voice. His command.
The bottle snapped closed and Gabe walked back to stand in font of me, lube in hand and a condom rolled onto his cock. He set the bottle on the floor by my feet. “Lay back on the bed and hold your ankles.”
Title: Rules to Live By Anthology
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Genre: BDSM, Erotica, M/M
Length: 248 pages/Word Count: 66,400
Four intimate tales of power exchange, discipline, risks taken, and pleasures earned.
A list of rules to live by.
In Cari Z’s House Rules, jealousy leads Jonathan to break the rules his lover has established. He can’t decide which he enjoys more: his punishment, or the reward afterward. Good thing he gets both.
A lesson in humility.
In The Harder They Fall by Heidi Belleau and Lisa Henry, spoiled college boy Tad hires a prostitute, but “Daddy” couldn’t care less about what Tad wants. Instead, he’s going to give his spoiled little boy exactly what he deserves.
A cage that means freedom.
In Master Key by Anah Crow and Dianne Fox, Marquis offers Navin the key to the most intimate of locks, hoping it will help them to prioritize their relationship. And it does—until work and insecurities threaten to drive them apart again.
A spool of rope and a desire to be bound.
In CTRL Me by Anna Zabo, a night out between friends turns hot and tempting when Gabe deliberately pushes Tom’s submissive buttons. Then Tom discovers rope in Gabe’s glove box—and not the type for securing luggage.
Purchase Link: Riptide Publishing
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