Hot pleasure, like molten lava, took its time to flow through her veins. The little bullet tucked inside her panties and nestled so perfectly against her clit packed a nice punch.
Melodie sighed and closed her eyes. Her body relaxed and she enjoyed the sensual vibrations. How long had it been since a man had gone down on her? God, how she missed the feel of a strong tongue gliding between the lips of her pussy and working it’s magic. – From Number 69 by Casey Sheridan
Occasionally on my blog I like to do what I call “Funny Words and Phrases”. I pick a body part (sexual bits) and share some of the slang terms I’ve found, using them in a humorous phrase. Today I chose masturbation, specifically the man.
I know Number 69 is centered on a woman wearing vibrating panties, but in all honesty, I find the terms for male masturbation to be more humorous than those for female masturbation, and certainly not in short supply.
Hold on with both hands because here we go:
Bleed the weed (from the 1990’s) sounds like a procedure you get at a doctor’s office. Or maybe it’s a gardening tool used to examine the equipment (also from the 1990’s). That’s probably very helpful to do before you get one’s pole varnished (from the1980’S).
I’m sure most men like to play pocket billiards (from the1940’s) before they polish the viper (from the 1980’s+).
How many of you like to toot your flute (from the 1980’s+)?
Don’t raise your hands! You’ll need them both to flog the bishop (from the 1950’s+) and to beat the bald-headed bandit (from the 1960’s).
Tell me….what funny words or phrases have you heard for male masturbation?
A matchmaking party was not Melodie’s idea of fun, and wearing vibrating panties was just plain weird. Or was it?
Should she go to the party? After all, she just might meet Mr. Right. And if he doesn’t show, she has the vibrating panties to keep things interesting.
Read my review of Number 69 HERE
Casey Sheridan wrote her first erotic story on a dare, and loved it so much she never stopped. Casey’s work has been published by Breathless Press and Cobblestone Press, and has appeared on The Erotic Woman, Every Night Erotica and RSVP-Erotica.
She loves reading, writing, chocolate, book stores, and art museums.