BREAKING THE RULES by JB Lynn
In CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN, Maggie Lee is given a set of Life Lessons by Patrick Mulligan, her murder mentor.
In the sequel, FURTHER CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN, Maggie breaks all his rules.
1) DON’T GET CAUGHT
When Maggie agrees to take out a heavily-guarded drug dealer who was once married to one of her aunts (for a week) her chances of getting caught increase exponentially. Then she’s caught, although he doesn’t know the real reason why she’s there, by an old frenemy.
2) DEAD IS DEAD
The thing about killing people for money is that they have to end up dead. This is harder than it sounds.
3) DON’T GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED
Maggie doesn’t take this job for her usual reason (to pay for her niece’s medical care). She takes it because she wants revenge on the drug dealer who was inadvertently responsible for the death of her sister and the severe injury of her beloved niece.
In writing these books, I broke some of my own rules.
1) Never write in first person
As a general rule (and yes, all rules are made to be broken) I’m not a fan of novels written in first person, but this book demanded to be told that way.
2) Stay away from talking animals
Reruns of MISTER ED traumatized me as a young child and I’d vowed to never write about talking animals. These books have two: a know-it-all lizard named Godzilla (he prefers to be called God) and a ditzy Doberman named Doomsday.
3) Write what your agent thinks will sell
It takes a long time to write a novel, so writing something your agent hates the very concept of (a humorous story about a sympathetic hitwoman who talks to animals?) would be a giant waste of time and energy. But I LOVED the idea of these books. I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters. So what’s a writer to do? I dumped my agent, wrote the book I loved, found a new agent, and the rest is history.
What “rules” do you break? And how has breaking them paid off?
Please be sure to answer the question and to leave an email address. One lucky winner (US or Canada only) will receive an ebook copy of either the first or second Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman book (winner’s choice).
About JB Lynn:
Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn’t get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.
JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and ’80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.
For links to purchase the books, please visit: HarperCollins
Title: Further Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman by JB Lynn
Imprint: Avon Impulse
Length: 100 pages
Take three wacky aunts,
two talking animals,
one nervous bride,
and an upcoming hit,
and you’ve got the follow-up
to JB Lynn’s wickedly funny
Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman
Knocking off a drug kingpin was the last thing on Maggie Lee’s to-do list, but when a tragic accident leaves her beloved niece orphaned and in the hospital, Maggie will go to desperate lengths to land the money needed for her care.
But the drug kingpin is the least of her worries. Maggie’s aunts are driving her crazy, her best friend’s turned into a bridezilla…and a knock on the head has given Maggie Dr. Dolittle abilities—she can talk to animals. Unfortunately, they talk back.
It’s just another day in the life of this neurotic hitwoman…
“I see a disco ball in your future.” Armani Vasquez, the closest thing I had to a friend at Insuring the Future, delivered this pronouncement right after she sprinkled a handful of candy corn into her Caesar salad.
Disgusted by her food combination, I pushed my own peanut butter and jelly sandwich away. “Really? A disco ball?”
If you’d told me a month ago that I’d be leaning over a table in the lunchroom, paying close attention to the bizarre premonitions of my half-crippled, wannabe-psychic coworker, I would have said you were crazy.
But I’d had one hell of a month.
First there had been the car accident. My sister Theresa and her husband, Dirk, were killed; my three-year-old niece, Katie, wound up in a coma; and I ended up with the ability to talk to animals. Trust me, I know exactly how crazy that sounds, but it’s true … I think.
On top of everything else, I inadvertently found myself hurtling down a career path I never could have imagined.
I’m now a hitwoman for hire. Yes, I kill people for money … but just so you know, I don’t go around killing just anyone. I’ve got standards. The two men I killed were bad men, very bad men.
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6. Leave a comment on this post answering Ms. Lynn’s questions: What “rules” do you break? And how has breaking them paid off? Make sure you leave your e-mail address so Ms. Lynn can contact you if you are the winner.